Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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