I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
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