Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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