There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
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i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
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As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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