I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize