Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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