I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
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she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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