Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You pole danced in your parka.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize