i think i have herpe
just one?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize