I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You are a genius and a whore.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize