what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Mom said you looked used
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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