She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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