she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just want to make out with him forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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