There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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