i was born a porn star she said
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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