ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i love accidental penises.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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