ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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