'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize