he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
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Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
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Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
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