I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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