we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
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dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
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