Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize