rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
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I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
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We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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