If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
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stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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