I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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