She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
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It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
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Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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