fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
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You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
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Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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