ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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