if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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