All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
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You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
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I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
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