If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize