you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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