final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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