can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize