I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize