i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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