no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
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Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
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