Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
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Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
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I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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