So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
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We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
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It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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