Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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