I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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