is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
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you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
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When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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