she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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