There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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