Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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