So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
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I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
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So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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