when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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