I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize