we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize