you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
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I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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